I am a Survivor

Just a year after one of my good friends passed away from liver cancer, I was diagnosed with breast cancer!

It all started back in April 2008, when I noticed my right nipple was bleeding. I ignored the symptom, thinking it was just another rash as I’ve always had sensitive skin. Two months later, I noticed there was a tiny lump. Once again, I chose to ignore the symptoms, thinking it was just another cyst or pre-menstrual lumpiness, which I have experienced before.

I felt that I should be safe because I’ve been going for yearly check-ups for benign breast cysts and I’ve only skipped that for one and a half years due to my busy working schedule. But of course, I procrastinated partly out of my own laziness.  By August 2008, I experienced bleeding again and the lump had grown slightly bigger.

I was casually telling my aunt about it and that was when she urged me to go for a medical checkup, reminding me of our family history of cancers.

I started to worry. I managed to get a fairly early appointment with KKH. After a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy, I was confirmed to have Stage 3 breast cancer. As I was prepared for the worst, I accepted the news calmly. But I feared chemotherapy, having seen my friend suffer during hers.

I was given some steroids for these reactions and the drug caused insomnia for the first three days following my chemotherapy but that didn’t make me stop going on. My next treatment was a 4-cycle chemotherapy given once every three weeks. This time, I felt nauseated and lost some appetite. I even vomited two hours after my first two chemotherapy sessions. Apart from this, I did not suffer all that much. I ensured that I rested well, ate well and drank plenty of ‘liang cha’ such as water chestnut drink, barley water etc. I had my surgery done in June 2009, a day after Michael Jackson passed away. After surgery, I carried on with my Herceptin till July 2010. I developed very bad rashes and had to see specialists at the National Skin Centre.

Then I had to undergo radiotherapy. I did grow weary as the days passed, up to the point that I did not want to go on.

I had to tell myself this: I have gone through the toughest part of treatment, which was the chemotherapy. What is radiotherapy? It is just like sun tanning! Finally, by September 2010, all my treatments were completed.

I am glad and I am thankful for all the support and advice from my family, relatives, friends and the KK Alpine Blossoms Support Group’s staff and members. I joined support group activities such as Mind Body, Art therapy, line dance and music therapy. I also went for the organised retreat. From there I got to know more friends and we went on outings together on days when I wasn’t tired from the treatments. They brightened my days during my process of treatment. I could even gain more knowledge on breast cancer and types of treatment from the support group meetings. By joining these activities, I learned to be calmer, more relaxed, and most importantly, I was able to discipline myself to do exercises!

If only I had gone for my yearly check-up, and if only I did not procrastinate when the first symptom arose, I might not have ended up with a Stage 3 cancer. I would like to urge every woman out there:

• If you are 40 years old and below, do monthly breast self-examination
• If you are 40 - 49 years old, please do yearly mammogram check
• If you are 50 years old and above, go for 2-yearly mammogram

Most importantly, if you do feel any abnormality in your breast, please do not choose to ignore, or worse, try to be ‘smart’ like me. Consult a doctor immediately.

It was a yearly routine test at KK Hospital’s Specialist Clinic A. As I had ovarian cysts on both my ovaries, I asked my gynae doctor to also check on the lump I felt in my right breast. This lump which I felt since two years ago wasn’t painful and I put off going for a mammogram as friends of mine who had gone for it kept telling me that it was painful.  My doctor confirmed the lump and quickly asked the nurse to fix an appointment with KK Breast Centre.

They set an appointment and I went for the mammogram as well as a biopsy as they wanted to be sure. The biopsy results were handed to the Specialist Surgeon, Dr Hong Ga Sze who had to tell me the dreadful news that I had breast cancer. I will never forget the day, which was 10 February 2010 (nine days before my 43rd birthday), I nearly fainted when he broke the news to me. My whole world fell apart as the thought of dying was all I could think of.  The tears started to well up in my eyes. I prayed for guidance and for the path that will follow to be smooth.

What I experienced after that, Nurse Li Li (a former breast care nurse), really helped me a lot and she was part of the group of people I owe my recovery to. She even spoke to my sisters and companion, for without their love and support, I would never have come this far. With so many people including other family members, friends, bosses and colleagues cheering me on, my will to live was even greater. I couldn’t disappoint the people who cared and loved me and rooted for me to this day. I went for the operation - after much consideration I opted for a lumpectomy (the removal of just the cancerous lump). I had to remove my lymph nodes also as they were affected.

The road to recovery was long with numerous rounds of chemotherapy, I told myself that I had to persevere even though it really made me feel sick and made me lose my appetite. My hair started falling so I had it shaved off.  It was the lowest period of my life but with so much love, encouragement and care given, I had nothing to worry but only the will to live. 

The KK Alpine Blossoms which is KK Hospital’s breast cancer support group helped me mentally and physically. I took the therapeutic art programme, which was one of the therapies that is conducted by them, during my chemotherapy. The facilitators were very patient and understanding. I also met other patients with whom I could share my feelings. I have recommended those whom I have met at KK Breast Centre to take up these sessions, which also include the choir and line dancing, as they are therapeutic too.

After completing my chemo, I had 30 days of radiotherapy which was not too bad compared to chemotherapy. The only side effect was that the area was somewhat “burnt”. Now, I am on five years of medication. My hair is slowly growing back and it is baby soft and very curly which is very different from my previous thick, coarse and wavy hair. I am very grateful to all the doctors, nurses and staff for their support and counselling along the way through my treatment.  With prayers, I know that my life is more meaningful and it has made me love and appreciate the people around me.

Being happy is also one of the key elements to my recovery. Only you have the power to make a choice – to be happy (be with people who make life more interesting) or sad (be by yourself by not making an effort to mingle with others).  I have a different perspective to life now. I can say that I have been given a second chance and I should treasure and live my life to the fullest. I have so many people to thank so if you are one of them, “Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

"I didn't have a choice when cancer chose me, but I can now choose how to live my life after cancer"
- CLH, age 38 when diagnosed with breast cancer.

You will be surprised how it can encourage and strengthen someone else on the same journey.
Send your stories to: Geetah.Kanniah@kkh.com.sg